​My brother recently forwarded an article called "Regrets of the Dying". As my four brothers and I get older, and with parents who are in their golden years, certain topics begin to crop up as gaining some level of relevance. However, being in reasonably good health, all of us, and though I am facing the big 5-0 this year, I know his intention was to raise our awareness NOW, while we're healthy and young, or young-ish!

The author of the article is Bronnie Ware, a palliative care giver in New South Wales, Australia. She worked with the terminally ill and dying, and she compiled a top five list of regrets that people expressed when "they are faced with their own mortality." Read Bronnie Ware's blog post here.

Here are the Top Five Regrets by Bronnie Ware:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

We all can look back at even just the day before today and re-evaluate something we've done or failed to do. We might reflect and wish we could have done it differently. It's part of human nature, and how we grow and evolve and learn. What we don't want is to make the "shoulda, coulda, woulda" mantra become a chronic, life-long tale of self-loathing and regret. With that in mind, I made a list of remedies to combat the regrets, a one-on-one, hand-to-hand face off.

Top Five Remedies to Combat the Top Five Regrets:
​1. Now and every day, I tap into my creative inner being.
Access your deep self - the place of intuition and imagination. Those thoughts are entirely your own, free from others' expectations. From there, let yourself be inspired by it. Now innovate - do something different, bold, true to yourself. Do this daily, and you come to realize how much courage you really do have to live an authentic life.

2. Now and every day, I find time to be a kid.
Take your cues from children - they love to play! It brings out a sense of wonder, freedom, laughter, and pure joy, things we rarely associate with work. (If you are lucky, work is play!) More than we think, play and recreation have many benefits to our wellness, so it is advantageous to balance work and play.  Make time for play, to be a kid. 

3. Now and every day, I speak from my heart.
We fear in our society being judged, being vulnerable, being labeled, so we often hold back on revealing our feelings. Those are real barriers to self-expression. But there are more mediums of expressing oneself than just through speech. Speak from the heart through painting, writing a song, a poem, or a blog post. And when you do find the words - don't worry if they are not perfect, they just have to be sincere. 

4. Now and every day, I connect with someone I care about.
It's a romantic notion to send a letter, sealed with wax, delivered by a rider on horseback, through the woods. Technology has allowed for Facebook, Skype, emails, and texting. All you need is a screen and your thumbs. Less romantic? Maybe so, but you have even less of an excuse not to reach out to someone! Despite the means, maintaining a connection with people is vital. Call today, horse not required. 

5. Now and every day, I make something, love someone.
The need to make stuff is a primal human quality. The need to love and be loved (nurture and be nurtured) is also a human trait. Happiness comes from our ability to fulfill these desires and needs. Making stuff can be as mundane as preparing a meal for your family or more involved such as building furniture. Create something with your hands! As for loving and being loved, happiness happens because we are reassured that we are not alone. 

Regret is a tough thing. The idea of time gone by wasted makes us uneasy. Our mortality is limited, so the best we can do is optimize our life on earth, living creatively, connected, compassionately, now and every day.

​Rick Tan

​We formed a circle with our mandala stones - the final workshop in our 3-day Syrendell Winter Retreat. Each river rock represented an individual - an artist, a scientist, a photographer, an innkeeper, a coordinator, a brewmaster. Each rock a constellation. Each constellation one universe.

We are all unified by the human desire to be creative. Being creative is honoring earth's bounty, accepting the gifts of the elements, using our own hands. Creating is in our nature, and most certainly comes from a wellspring of loving intent.  It connects us, nourishes and heals us, completes us.

Now if only we can get our world leaders to all be together to braid yarn, paint stones, sand wood, and go wine tasting in Calistoga, CA...!

VENUE | Brannan Cottage Inn
WORKSHOPS | Syrendell
PHOTOGRAPHY | Nick Graham Photography
CATERING | All Seasons Napa
VINTAGE RENTALS | Graceful Gatherings
LINENS | La Tavola
DECOR AND FLORALS | Tan Weddings & Events
WOOL and YARN | Mama Jude's

As the parent zips up his little one's jacket and puts lunch in the backpack, readying him for school, he gets eye level with the child and instructs, "Now remember to say 'Thank you', play fair, and keep your hands to yourself."

"Yes, papa." 

Most parents believe that curriculum and skill building are taught at school, while core values such as politeness and respect are taught at home. Parents take on the responsibility of raising courteous people. The reality is, to reinforce these values, the other parents of the children in the classroom all need to share the same values. So in truth, developing the SELF means developing SOCIAL WELLNESS, and vice versa. In this regard, every classroom is a setting for teaching the whole human.

Social behavior among children is a reflection of parenting philosophies. So you can easily see the challenge and frustration of putting children in a classroom together whose parents (and teachers) have different expectations about behavior and discipline.

Like the curriculum or physical development, social expectations can also be tabulated and measured - benchmarks for social development. Using Steiner's developmental goals of the curriculum, putting it side by side with other philosophies, and listing associated values and demonstrable social expectations, I created a table called "Social Wellness Milestones through the Grades".  It is a work in progress that sequences the development of social skills from grades one through nine. Regard it as minimum requirements for student social health and wellness.

Click on the button below for a downloadable pdf .
​

What makes us human is our ability and desire to create. It's in our blood to transform the natural materials around us into shelter, tools, clothing, art, and food. We are in a constant and dynamic relationship to the elements - to fire, wood, water, and earth. We are also in a most amazing relationship with one another.

Syrendell's Winter Retreat "for couples and bffs" explores the idea that we are creative people who want to be creative together! If you look back to the Renaissance, the explosion of science, art, and exploration were a result of the momentum of entire cultures and communities discovering and learning together.

In the rugged elegance of California's wine country region, nestled in the romance of historical Brannan Cottage Inn in Calistoga, we welcome you and your significant other or bff to join us in celebrating the human experience of creativity...with wine and conversations!

Hope to see the two of you soon,
​Rick and Jennifer Tan
​

​The title of the article posted on the Huffington Post captured my attention: "Nine Elephants in the (Class)Room That Should Unsettle Us". Having taught in classrooms that barely hold students, their desks, and mismatched bookcases, I imagined nine pachyderms crammed into a meager box, vying for space with the teacher and students. Teaching and learning would pretty much be impossible!

​And perhaps that is the image the author Will Richardson wants us to have so we can confront the question he wants us to ask: How can we keep ignoring nine large land mammals in the same classroom as our children?

Here is Richardson's list of the nine elephants:

1. We know that most of our students will forget most of the content that they “learn” in school.
2. We know that most of our students are bored and disengaged in school.
3. We know that deep, lasting learning requires conditions that schools and classrooms simply were not built for.
4. We know that we’re not assessing many of the things that really matter for future success.
5. We know that grades, not learning, are the outcomes that students and parents are most interested in.
6. We know that curriculum is just a guess.
7. We know that separating learning into discrete subjects and time blocks is not the best way to prepare kids for the real world.
8. We know (I think) that the system of education as currently constructed is not adequately preparing kids for what follows if and when they graduate.
9. And finally, we know that learning that sticks is usually learned informally, that explicit knowledge accounts for very little of our success in most professions.

In his article, Mr. Richardson supports each of the troubling statements with a brief description. You can find his article by clicking here. You can know more about him here. You may or may not agree with each of the elephants he poses, and you may even have some more of your own. But in any case, we need to figure out how to tame these elephants, or better yet, release them into the wild and set them free!

This is no easy feat, and it would take time, and money, and resources, not to mention, the decision to actually do something about it! We all have our opinions of how to tackle it, and this particular blog post simply offers one way that you can do something about it.

While the elephants occupy space, and prance about the classroom, wreaking all sorts of havoc with short and long term repercussions, perhaps as a parent, and not as a policy-maker, you can choose to take your child out of the classroom and do what 2.3 million families in the US are currently doing: homeschooling.

Let's look at each of those elephants again, and how homeschooling gets those pachyderms packing!
​
1. We know that most of our students will forget most of the content that they “learn” in school.
Richardson poses that the reason students forget most of what they learn is due to the fact that the content they are expected to know has "little or no relevance to students’ real lives".

When schooling at home, every day at "school" is an experience of every day family life. So when a homeschool parent has the agility to turn gardening, cooking, and shopping for food into lessons in botany, social studies, and economics, then learning becomes relevant, and there is a higher chance of the child retaining the "content" because it is a real world experience.

2. We know that most of our students are bored and disengaged in school.
According to Richardson's article, only 17% of high school students surveyed said that they have fun in school. The majority are not involved and are not enthusiastic about school; they are disengaged and bored. 

​At home, we don't like using the word "bored"! There are just too many activities to choose from to fill time with, even if that time filler is simply folding clothes. Every family member is an active participant. And unlike a classroom with 20+ students, a home is more responsive to the imaginations and inclinations of your own children.  In your own home,  you have the flexibility for spontaneity, and the freedom to guide and inspire your child towards fruitful endeavors. With the freedom as well for the child to choose his or her activity, including having down-time, playing with siblings, and just letting imaginations flow through self-initiated activities, enthusiasm is not hard to come by!

3. We know that deep, lasting learning requires conditions that schools and classrooms simply were not built for.
Classroom learning is subjugated to keeping on task, on time, on content, and as such learning can become superficial, rushed, and contrived. Educators are obligated to follow a a prescribed course.

With homeschooling, there is more freedom, and learning is opened up to the how (process of skill development) and the why (capacity building) compared to just the what (content acquisition). This experience of discovery and wonderment is found in the homeschool setting.  By virtue of the breadth of resources that a parent educator can pull from, and that the sensory world is available at any given moment, every step of the homeschool journey is an opportunity to create new pathways. It is like unfolding a map, finding where you are, and seeing that in every direction there is something waiting to be explored! Without pre-determined routes, our thinking and feeling become active participants, allowing for meaningful and memorable learning experiences. A home seems to be better built for "deep, lasting learning".

4. We know that we’re not assessing many of the things that really matter for future success. 
It is easy to assess curriculum recall and basic skills acquisition in K-12 schooling, but are these the most important? What are difficult to assess - the things that matter more - are creativity, curiosity, and the ability to connect. So, are assessments even worthwhile doing, or if they are valuable, is there a way to measure creativity, curiosity, and connection?

As a parent educator who knows the temperament of his or her own child, and can monitor progress and learning in a more organic and practical way, administering a test seems detached from the real experiences of the child. If a homeschooling parent can ask the child to add up items from the grocery store, or explain why the shadows look the way they do on their afternoon stroll, or draw a picture of a historical figure, then those serve well as assessments of learning.

5. We know that grades, not learning, are the outcomes that students and parents are most interested in. 
Grades are a convenient way to scale the progress of a student, but how much importance should we place on them? The higher grades feed the sense of extreme pressure, the lower grades fan the feelings of shame and disappointment.  Whatever the grade, when a grading system is carried through high school and college, it leaves an indelible mark upon the child, the teen, the young adult - an artificial measure of human worth and value.

Grades? Huh? Freed from grades as a measure of success, the homeschool student instead gains a sense of personal accomplishment in the feedback of working through lessons and completing lessons and projects. With gentle evaluation and encouragement, the homeschool parent can help the student improve skills and techniques, and take ownership of personal learning outcomes.  So instead of external, superficial drivers of education such as grades, the learning comes from an internal, deeper driver, the self. Self-worth and self-esteem are built through through perseverance, responsibility, passion -  true measures of being human.

6. We know that curriculum is just a guess.
Richardson describes the 1894 "Committee of Ten" as "middle-aged white guys," who were responsible for setting down the curriculum we follow today. Whether from them or from other movements in education, including Waldorf, curriculum should never become dogmatic, dispensed to the masses by a charismatic, powerful, and highly opinionated few. But, as Richardson bravely states, curriculum "is just a guess." And the other point Richardson makes is that, with information so accessible, it seems that we can shift classroom time to other endeavors such as building capacities of learning.

In homeschooling, capacity and content can be equally nurtured. The parent has a more intimate connection with the pupil, so that while  the parent may be following current grade-level standards, delivery of curriculum is more capacity-oriented. When learning is approached this way, we can shift the focus from being curriculum-oriented to capacity-oriented and interest-directed. If curriculum is "just a guess" anyway, then we could approach the learning of content by looking at what the child seems most interested in, what seems relevant, socially-responsible, moral, and just plain fun to learn!

7. We know that separating learning into discrete subjects and time blocks is not the best way to prepare kids for the real world.
Schools are skills-driven, and therefore the neatest way to account for learning objectives is by discrete subjects, and the neatest way to assure that curriculum is being met is by linear time blocks. 

Homeschooling allows for a less linear approach because parent educators are not so bound by a checklist of skills. They can have a more holistic perspective of their own children in terms of developmental milestones. Homeschooling encourages a spherical journey. It can allow for cross-discipline learning and integration. The real world is fluid, dynamic, and interconnected. Homeschooling thrives on an integrated learning model. Learning human anatomy, for instance, does not have to be a semester subject in middle school or high school, or a four-week block in a Waldorf school. The child who is learning at home can learn about the human ear, for instance, after reporting that the car ride back from the mountains his hearing seemed muffled. A homeschooling parent has to be an opportunist - seeing learning everywhere, and connecting real-world experience with teachable concepts.

8. We know (I think) that the system of education as currently constructed is not adequately preparing kids for what follows if and when they graduate.
Richardson states, "SAT scores are flat; Americans rank last in problem solving using technology; kids are Internet illiterate; most professors find high school grads unprepared for college or work; and on and on (not to mention the engagement issues mentioned above)."

Maybe what is being taught is not what is being tested. Maybe what is being tested does not align with what students are expected to know. Maybe what we ought to know in the future is not something anyone can or should predict and prescribe. There are so many uncertainties here that the system of education almost feels like it needs a complete overhaul. And until that time when it can be examined and the right actions taken, we have to be adaptive, open, creative, resilient, flexible, aware, sensitive, keen, intuitive, imaginative, inspired, innovative. Wow! All things homeschooling affords - go figure!

9. And finally, we know that learning that sticks is usually learned informally, that explicit knowledge accounts for very little of our success in most professions.
​Richardson believes that "the ability to learn from others, in the moment, both face to face and in networks is vastly more important and effective." Teachers are trained to create lesson plans a year or mroe in advance, to have the curriculum all laid out, with biographies and concepts all prepared, with worksheets, lectures, and tests ready to go. It's a sensible plan, but maybe not necessarily the only or most fruitful plan.  

​There should be room for spontaneous and extemporaneous learning where it seems that a lasting impression happens because it happened at the right moment with the right conditions that no one can foresee. It's about going with the flow.

Homeschooling, though there is a good measure of preparedness and planning, has the benefit of allowing for learning that happens "in the moment". The interactions of child and parent, siblings, a pet, the neighbor, the errands to the store, or those things that just come up in a homeschooling day are often unplanned and yet, somehow, they become the most memorable and meaningful to the homeschooling child. 

In 1903, President Theodore Roosevelt camped with John Muir in Yosemite. In 2016, Roosevelt and Muir camped again, this time being visited by gnomes! It was our homeschooling play at Davis Wholisitic Learning Resources called The Range of Light. Along with Muir's friend and mentor Jeanne Carr, a poet named Harriet Monroe, and photographer Ansel Adams, Roosevelt and Muir encounter more than the pristine beauty of Yosemite - they meet four young gnomes who call the valley their home. 

In our ten-weeks of drama class at Davis WLR, the students experienced the process of putting on and performing a play. When Aristotle compiled the Six Essential Elements of Drama over 2000 years ago (THEME, PLOT, CHARACTERS. DIALOGUE, RHYTHM, and SPECTACLE), he recognized that theater arts is as much about the artistic process as it is about the shared experience of the performance. 

The work of producing a dramatic retelling of a story requires reading and memorization, delivery and recitation, collaboration and cooperation, music and singing, art and crafts. In this theatrical medium, skills that are honed in the students in language arts, practical arts, and performing arts are creatively taught and practiced. Additionally, in the eighth grade, the elements of theater such as the script, the cast, and set are introduced so the students can further their appreciation of this age-old craft. The curriculum lives through the play. 

On a deeper level, the teacher has the opportunity to meet the child's soul force by thoughtfully giving the child a particular character to portray. Through the character, the teacher is able to individually tailor a lesson for the child, whether the child needs more practice in reading or memorization, or that the child needs to learn some kind of social dynamic, or some underlying truth about him or herself.

After all the practice and the hard work, the play is ready to be performed. The theater arts is meant to be shared and experienced by others, the audience. A relationship is formed in that beautiful moment of a live performance. This is what makes a play so thrilling and raw and powerful. When the play is performed by the children of parents who make up the audience, the pride of the production completes the arc of a school play.

In The Range of Light, Roosevelt, or Teddy Rosebud as the gnomes call him, learn about conservation, the cast sing a song about Yosemite, and we all share in the fun of a class play. 
​

​When I was in grade school, my teachers taught us language arts, math, and history from blackboards. Lots of writing and chalk dust. Rarely was there any drawing, or use of any color other than white. But I actually look fondly back at those times - it was part of my childhood. 

When I became a teacher and I had my own blackboards to use, I remember being deeply and humbly moved, knowing I was in the company of those wonderful souls who were my mentors and role models. However, having trained as a Waldorf teacher, I regarded the chalk as more than a form of communicating verb tenses and long division, it was a medium for creating art.

These large scale drawings were created during my time as a teacher, finding inspiration from the curriculum with my students. I drew from nature, history, and science - beauty and art were present everywhere.  Most of my drawings were over four feet by six feet, created from between three hours (like the Cupcake drawing) and twelve hours (as with the Last Supper drawing). Thank you for visiting!

​Rick Tan

There is a quaint little cottage tucked away under the trees at the end of a gravel path. Every Tuesday morning, it beats with the rhythm of the hearts and souls of homeschooling families of Davis Wholistic Learning Resources.  

Founder Sandi Russi's team of Rick and Jennifer Tan of Syrendell and Robyn Wolfe of Waldorfish host children from five years to thirteen years in handwork, woodwork, art, movement, and drama. With teaching backgrounds in public school, homeschool, and Waldorf, and as professional artists and musicians, the trio offer a mixed bag of goodies. In short, they teach from the heart.

In their 10-week Fall session ending November 15, the teachers and children engage in a vast number of hands-on, hearts-on activities! On those Tuesday mornings, where the Tans affectionately call the Homeschool Cottage, children are inside and outside, learning, doing, moving, being. In short, they are creating from the heart. Creating capacities and skills. Creating friendships and values. Creating joy.

Our Winter-Spring session will resume on January 24. Until then, the Homeschool Cottage at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Davis will rest, awaiting the sounds of hammers tapping, brushes swishing, and children's voices in song and in play.

One month ago, our intimate gathering of friends and colleagues set foot on the impeccably landscaped estate of Park Winters. Young, successful entrepreneurs with busy work lives, they came to Syrendell Summer Retreat for rejuvenation and creative inspiration. 

The Park Winters estate served as a tranquil setting like a cozy nest tucked safely into a grove of trees. We were pampered in the sensual pleasure of chef-prepared gourmet meals, a salt-filtered pool, local wine, the burbling of a fountain and koi pond, and simply being barefoot on the grass. We were in the three day retreat, constantly surrounded by beauty and serenity. 

Our workshop offerings gave a balance of technique development and creative exploration. Designed in the spirit of feng shui, they drew from the elements of water, fire, earth, and wood. We worked with our hands to dye wool and silk, to spin, and weave yarn, to build a wood loom, to experiment with watercolor painting, and to journal. 

Throughout the workshops, sitting at meals together, and doing movement, yoga, and kinesophi, we simply allowed ourselves to unplug and unwind, and to reconnect and replenish. We surrendered to the blessing of captured personal time and togetherness, engaged in conversation about work, family, and relationships, and in dialogue with our own creative genius!

To our retreat guests - thank you for your radiance!

Rick and Jennifer Tan

HOSTS | Jennifer and Rick Tan | Syrendell
VENUE | Park Winters
​MEALS | Chef Scott Ostrander | Dining at Park Winters
PHOTOS | Caroline Winata | Milou and Olin Photography

Homeschooling is on the rise! According to data gathered by the US Department of Education, the number of homeschooled children ages 5 to 17 increased by almost 62% from 2003 to 2012. There are over 1.7 million kids out there who are learning at home, at the park, and in the woods. Parents are reclaiming the roles of teachers, with the world at large as their classrooms!

Support for homeschooling families has also risen. Sandi Russi, founder of Wholistic Learning Resources, had recognized in 2010 the need for a place where homeschooling families can avail of specialty classes such as art, handwork, woodwork, and movement. She pioneered a program that offers Waldorf-inspired classes in a school-like setting that supports the homeschooling lifestyle! There are others out there who bring their know-how and love of teaching to the homeschool world such as Earthschooling, Live Education, Syrendell, and Waldorfish, to name a few. 

We are happy to partner with Sandi Russi in launching Davis WLR last year, which brought us (Rick and Jennifer Tan) on board as homeschooling teachers for the families in Davis, Sacramento, and surrounding areas. We are also very happy to participate in WLR's Avenues & Inspiration Conference this August 2016. With Sandi Russi and other instructors of the WLR program - Kathy Anuszczyk, Talib Huff, Ciana Keller, Audra Sterrett, and Brian Wolfe, we are proud to inspire other parents and their families to make the homeschool journey with us. 

Homeschoolers are a community of people who believe in the power of family, that the capacities of the 21st century can be taught and fostered in the home, that we as parent/educators are responsible for guiding our future's leaders, peace keepers, and change makers. Ultimately, we make the homeschool journey because we value the precious time seeing our own children grow and become loving adults.

Join us at the Avenues & Inspiration Conference; let's begin the adventure!

Rick and Jennifer Tan